How I Educate My Child is None of Your Business

As a mom, or parents, we often criticize the way other moms or parents educate their children.
Thinking that our way is the best.

Kalau dalam lingkungan pertetanggaan saya, mungkin para ibu bakal saling bergosip tentang si A, si B,
anak si A, anak si B.

Cara kita dibesarkan, sedikit banyak menentukan kepribadian dan cara berpikir kita. Yang pastinya menentukan cara kita mendidik dan membesarkan anak.
Pastinya sangat mengesalkan kalau ada orang yang mengkritik atau sok mengajari kita cara mendidik anak.
As if, they know better than us. Seorang ibu, dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangannya, pastinya tau apa yang terbaik untuk anak mereka. Jadi sebaiknya kita tidak berkomentar tentang itu.

Saya hampir tidak pernah memberi anak saya jajanan atau snack yang ga jelas. Dalam hati, tentunya saya mengkritik ibu yang membawakan anaknya bekal 1 bungkus besar chiki. Tapi saya ga mungkin ngomong itu ke si ibu.
Sebaliknya I will appreciate, kalau orang lain juga melakukan yang sama. Sebal sekali kalau ada yang mau kasih anak saya permen, terus saya sudah bilang: "Anak saya TIDAK PERNAH makan permen. Saya tidak memperbolehkan."
Tapi si nyonya rese ini tetap menyodorkan ke anak saya dengan sedikit memaksa.

Banyaklah, kalau kita mau jujur, hal-hal yang tidak mengena di hati kita. Tapi tiap orang punya cara yang berbeda, mereka pasti juga punya alasan sendiri, mengapa mereka melakukan hal itu.

Misalnya, ada yang suka ngasih makan anak di jalanan.

Saya tidak setuju, tapi saya diam saja, kecuali org tsb bertanya kepada saya or minta saran.
So, ladies, moms, keep your mouth shut, unless you love to be annoying person. Dan jangan melanggar "authority" dari ibu or ortu lain dengan memaksa dan  mendorong si anak untuk melakukan atau menerima makanan/benda/tindakan yang anda beri atau sarankan.

Being nice or being me?

Our family is going to have a trip to my husband's hometown. Where most of the people there speak Hokkian. And not to be able to speak Hokkian is considered flaw. Some people are also nosy and annoying.
As a wife, I know I'm expected to be nice to his friends & relatives. As a person, I can't tolerate nosy and annoying people. I tend to speak what's on my mind & give them "a piece of mine".

So, it's kinda controversy to me. 1 side, I should be a better, nicer person.
Other side, I should just be me.
Lagian, memang ada orang2 tertentu yang perlu mendengar "apa adanya" without sugarcoat.
Dan ada orang tertentu yang super annoying, sarcasm is the only way to get rid of them.

Saya sering mendengar orang bilang kalo saya itu judes, blak-blakan, dll.
I know that those are not the best qualities of a person. Some people would suggest to change and be nicer.
However, those considered flaws by most people, are not flaws to me.
In my opinion, those are my strongpoints, HAHAHA. So, I'm not willing to change it.
Beside, these characteristics are like parts of me, what make me who I am. If I change it, then who will I be?
Better version of me but not real me, I think.


Final decision, considering my husband, I will try to be in my best behavior there. But if they start to supper annoy me, then,... you know. Hahahahahahhaha

You Are Welcome Not to Like Me

In life, we often get people who like to meddle with our life.
Asking questions, trying to dictate what they think is right, etc.

Most people would avoid difficult situation by answering a question with answers that other people want to hear.
I, personally, won't do that. I found that doing so is the same like lying and not showing the real me.

Let's say, when somebody (no matter who that person is, could be my friend, my mother in law, etc.) asks me:
"When do you plan to have another baby?"
Most people who do not plan to have another baby would answer: "Maybe later, or soon, or we're still planning it."
I would answer: "No, I don't want to have another baby."
Even though this answer will lead to another questions, and I will have to explain myself.

Then I will explain to them what I'm thinking, what I'm considering, everything that caused me to make this decision. They might not like it, they might not like me afterwards, but at least they get or see why I do what I do.

--->The short explanations why I don't wanna have another kid is because I am a responsible and unselfish parent.
1. We're not financially ready. We have to think about our kid's future, his education. I'm not talking 2-3 years from now, I'm talking about 16-20 years from now. School fees are increasing every year, can you imagine how much it will be 20 years from now?
Is the percentage of your salary raise as high as the school fee raise?
What happens if you can't pay for your kid university study? Will he have a good if not great future?

2. I'm not a dedicated housewife.
I love my son. I take care of him most of the time. I make sure he gets enough love and attention from me. But I also need time for myself. I also enjoy working.
And my husband, is also busy working. He's very helpful but he rarely has time to take care of his kid.
I don't wanna have another child but leaving him/her to the nanny. It would be irresponsible (Honestly, most people are irresponsible, they have many kids, but don't have time for them.)   <----

So, people may not understand, people may not like me, people may not get my point of view. It's fine.
Coz I don't care. I don't care what you think. This is my life, where I get to decide what I wanna do.
I do not meddle with your life (like what most people do to me) so I'd really appreciate if you do the same.

You are welcome not to like me. But if I can open your mind, it'd be great.

Regards,
Liana.

Idiotic Driver

Often I meet irresponsible drivers on the road, mostly motorcyclist and public transportation drivers.
They ignore traffic signs, rude, never give others chance to pass, drive recklessly, and many more.

Sometimes I get into a situation where I want to turn left or right, and I already turn on my lights. But those people seem not to see the signs, and insist on passing my car, even though a collision might happen.

Other times, big cars or bus would try to intimidate me by going towards my car so I move and they can get in my way. What the f**k? Sorry Mister, not me, not I. So, often they fail to do that and I feel a bit of victory.

I know, what I did and what I felt were silly. But I can't help to feel a bit of satisfaction when I can "beat" those people. They endangered themselves and other road users, so, I do not wish them well.

But.... when we are the ones who drive, we always feel that we are the greatest and the smartest. Others are simply stupid or no brainer, aren't they?


Regards,
Liana

Impolite & Rude People

I often meet ignorant, rude, & impolite people during everyday events.
At first I found it amusing to watch those people, but in the end I just found them very annoying.

During Chinese New Year, people in Palembang will visit each others' houses, even though you're not blood related (colleagues, neighbours, friends). Some of the guests would be my husband's colleagues (which I barely know).
One of them asked me: how many children do you have?
I replied: just one.
Him: how old are you?
Me: almost 30.
Him: oh, you need to have at least one more child.
Me: No. I only want one. No more.

Then he started to talk about having kids, bla bla bla, or you'll be lonely later, bla bla bla.
Oh I was so tempted to argue him, this person is soooo impolite. How can you tell me what to do when I barely know you? Who are you?
But I tried to be polite, considering my husband.
But then, after a few minutes of him barging into my personal life, I argued him about having financial and emotional responsibilities when raising children. He finally shut his mouth.
Another similar case, a guy I met at a noodle hut, specifically told me to have a baby once a year (until I get 3 kids)

I also had friends (yes, we're not friends anymore) who were so annoying, the bossy type who'd tell you what to do, who'd think that they know best.
When my boy was 1 years old, I had a nanny. When I met this couple at the mall, and they saw that I had a nanny, they commented: Oh, this boy is a nanny's boy. Not mama's boy.
I replied: You only said that because you can't afford to hire a nanny.
They laughed awkwardly then.

However, in the end, trying to argue and talk sense to these people is only wasting my precious time. It's like playing music to deaf people or trying to talk sense to the morons.
So, I just need to think that they are poor, ignorant, unintelligent people. And say to myself:
When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you've won.
It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth any more of my time.


Regards,

Liana